Conference Meltdown

I had a bit of a moment last week. I was co-hosting the 4th annual, ‘Your Coaching Journey Doctors’ Coaching Conference; and it had gone brilliantly well. We had brought together a room full of wonderful coaching doctors, each celebrating their own individual coaching journeys.

We had heard from five marvellous speakers, who had all captivated the audience with the ideas that they had shared. We’d also heard from two coaching doctors in short, spotlight sessions, focused on how they are using their coaching skills out there in the wild.

We had chosen people that we knew and trusted to deliver great sessions, and it had paid off.

The venue had been just what was required, the staff had helped to ensure that the day went smoothly and that we were all very well fed and watered.

All I had to do was MC and hold everything together for everyone, which I did relatively well until the last fifteen minutes. I then had a moment.

The last speaker of the day, my partner in crime, Helen Leathers, was talking about powerful presence in coaching and invited all of us to engage in a guided, embodied reflection, asking us to connect with our purpose in the coaching room. With my hand on my heart and taking slow, deep breaths, I let go of my facilitation role and embraced the experience.

I could feel the power of the embodied connection with my purpose, not in the coaching room, but here in a room full of our people. A gathering of wonderful human beings who had given up their day to be with us, and to share in a community that has been developed online, but celebrates real human connection.

This was a chance for so many of our students and alumni to meet in person, to network, to deepen the relationships they have already formed and to create new ones.

This is what the last five years have been about; creating connection, generating new thinking, finding warm, kind, accepting people who have a love of learning and a willingness to stretch themselves.

So, when it came to wrapping up the day, I found myself full of emotion, with a lump in my throat, tears in my eyes and an in ability to talk. I handed the microphone back to Helen and she filled in for me for several minutes whilst I regained my composure.

The great thing about being in a room full of people that you know and trust, and who and know and trust you, is that there’s some psychological safety. I knew I wouldn’t be judged by these wonderful people and knew that my display of vulnerability and emotion would strengthen our community.

They have all been willing to be vulnerable on our coaching programme and prepared to express their emotions.

We have experienced all of life with our students and our alumni, as we have journeyed together; we have shared in their grief and rejoiced in the birth of their babies; we have watched them in struggle and seen them flourish; we have heard about the development of some relationships and about the ending of others. We have encountered children and observed cats and dogs making an appearance. We have listened to talk of career change and of moving home.

Students have held the space for them as they have talked about all that is happening in their lives and they have learned to hold the space for others.

So, the overflowing of my emotions and my inability to speak stemmed from an immense sense of pride, of gratitude and of affection for everyone in the room.

Last year at our conference I gave a talk about love in the coaching room and about how, if we enter a coaching conversation with love, we create a generative environment in which the person we’re talking to feels heard and feels held. This way of being in our coaching leads to more expansive and open thinking on their part.

Last week, in a conference room full of people, I felt the warmth of our tribe, and knew that I was among people who cared as much as we do about the community that has grown around us.

Today, I feel blessed to have experienced that moment of vulnerability and to have experienced the empathic response of our coaching doctors.

Working with all of them has provided me with a very real sense of purpose, that feeds the desire to continue on my own coaching journey.