Is It Ever Okay to Mentor Someone During a Coaching Session?
The short answer? No.
But let’s explore it further.
Understanding the Difference Between Coaching and Mentoring
Before we can address whether mentoring belongs in a coaching session, it’s important to first understand the distinctions between the two. The NHS Leadership Academy provides useful definitions:
- Coaching is a process of questioning and inquiry that helps individuals unlock their full potential, supporting them in achieving personal and professional success.
- Mentoring develops individuals through the sharing of knowledge, skills, and experience. It is often led by a seasoned professional who can provide guidance based on their own experiences.
These definitions highlight a key difference: coaching is about drawing out insight and solutions from the individual, while mentoring is about providing advice and guidance based on personal experience.
The Key Differences Between Coaching and Mentoring
While coaching and mentoring share similarities in being developmental interventions, their focus and execution differ significantly.
- Purpose: Coaching is centred on helping individuals achieve specific objectives, supporting their development, and guiding them to overcome challenges. The goal is to encourage self-reflection and new ways of thinking. Mentoring, on the other hand, is more concerned with long-term career development and progression, often involving opening doors and providing direct guidance.
- Approach: Coaches use a facilitative approach, asking questions that lead the coachee to their own conclusions. Mentors take a more directive role, offering insights and suggestions from their own experience.
- Expectations: A coachee enters a coaching session expecting to be challenged through questioning and exploration, not to receive direct advice. A mentee seeks guidance from someone who has navigated a similar path and can offer actionable insights.
One way to summarise the distinction is:
- Teaching: “This is how you do it.”
- Mentoring: “This is how I did it.”
- Coaching: “How could you do it?”
Why People Confuse Coaching and Mentoring
One reason for the confusion between coaching and mentoring is that they are often grouped together in training programs. Many so-called “coaching and mentoring” courses primarily focus on coaching skills, leaving the mentoring aspect underexplored. Additionally, organizations sometimes mistakenly use the terms interchangeably, leading to unclear expectations for everyone: coachee/mentee and coach/mentor.
There is also a natural human tendency to offer advice. Many individuals love to share their experiences, and even when they lack direct expertise, they may still be inclined to give guidance. This is where coaches must be disciplined—resisting the urge to offer solutions and instead holding space for the coachee to develop their own insights.
Is It Ever Okay to Mentor in a Coaching Session?
Coaching is about creating a space for the coachee to think, reflect, and arrive at their own conclusions. If a coach shifts into a mentoring role and starts offering advice, they disrupt this process and diminish the coachee’s ability to develop self-reliance and confidence in their decision-making.
If a coachee needs guidance or expert knowledge, there are alternative sources available. They might:
- Seek advice from a manager or experienced colleague.
- Consult HR for procedural guidance.
- Engage a mentor specifically for career progression discussions.
A coach’s role is to explore challenges with the coachee, help them evaluate their options, and empower them to find their own solutions—not to provide those solutions directly.
When Coaching and Mentoring Get Mixed
Some professionals describe themselves as “coach-mentors,” blending the two roles. While it is possible to integrate coaching techniques into mentoring (for example, using powerful questions to guide a mentee’s thinking), it is not appropriate to introduce mentoring into a coaching session. Clear contracting is crucial to maintaining the integrity of each process.
Contracting to Avoid Confusion
At the start of a coaching relationship, it is essential to clarify expectations:
- For coaching: The coachee should understand that they will not receive advice. The coach will guide them through a process of reflection and inquiry.
- For mentoring: The mentee should understand that the mentor will offer advice based on their experiences.
If an organisation asks someone to mentor but expects them to act as a coach, or vice versa, this needs to be clarified to avoid frustration on both sides.
The Danger of Giving Advice in Coaching
Coaches who give advice during a session may think they are being helpful, but they risk disempowering the coachee. The true value of coaching lies in helping individuals think for themselves. The best coaching sessions leave coachees feeling capable, resourceful, and in control of their own development.
That said, coaching skills can enhance mentoring. A skilled mentor who incorporates coaching techniques—such as active listening and asking thought-provoking questions—can be more effective than one who simply dispenses advice. However, in a pure coaching session, staying in the coaching lane is essential.
We know that there are some situations where we might be information sharing, particularly if you are a health coach, or a lifestyle medic. And we also talk about sharing information about psychological models that might be for the coachee to understand. While there may be a fine line for some people, information sharing or psycho-education is different from giving advice.
Coaching and mentoring are valuable but distinct approaches to development. While coaching can support personal insight and decision-making, mentoring provides expert guidance and career progression support. Mixing the two inappropriately can lead to confusion and reduce the effectiveness of both.
So, is it ever okay to mentor in a coaching session? No. And if you find yourself tempted to offer advice, take a step back and remind yourself of your role: to help the coachee find their own answers, not to provide them. By staying true to the coaching approach, you empower individuals to develop their own solutions, ensuring long-term growth and self-sufficiency.
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