Topics for Coaching: Imposter Syndrome – Part Two

Exploring Imposter Syndrome In The Coaching Room

Let’s imagine a client comes to you and says something like:

“oh, yeah, there was a bit of imposter syndrome going on there, but I’m It is more of a, I really can’t do this because I am not worthy, I am not good enough. I can’t possibly put my head above the parapet because it will get shot down.”

How are you going to work with someone in that situation?

A cognitive Behavioural Approach to coaching is really suited to this type of work. This is because much of what is happening is going on in our heads, it’s how we’re thinking about the situation and there might be some unhelpful thinking patterns going on that are particularly worth exploring in the coaching room. But first, it’s really important to explore the reality of the situation.

REALITY CHECK 1

What external factors could be contributing to those imposter feelings. What societal, cultural, or organisational issues or sometimes relationship-based issue could be contributing to them feeling this way?

They need to be looked at, recognised, and then maybe challenged or addressed. It could be that someone is making the best effort possible to contribute to your client’s feelings of not fitting in, maybe not inviting them to certain meetings, for example, or maybe it’s the dynamics of the organisation, or the culture of the organisation that’s always been a particular way, and doesn’t invite them to be part of it. That’s all really important to explore.

Maybe there’s some really useful information to be found here. Maybe their values don’t align, and they are better suited to a different environment.

It may be that when you explore the reality, it’s not an imposter experience at all, but not a good fit for their own value, or perhaps a discriminatory or toxic environment. Or it could be that it feeds into some belief that’s already existing within you, perhaps that feeling of not fitting in.

And sometimes it’s possible to put ourselves in situations where we know we’re not going to fit in, which is an interesting area to explore.

REALITY CHECK 2

It sounds a bit mean but, should they feel like an imposter?

If you’re new at something and you’ve never been in that role or in that type of organisation before, then perhaps you should feel like an imposter. Maybe feeling like an imposter is too harsh a phrase, but if that role is new and you’re comparing yourself with people who have been there for years, you will feel not as good as them. But it’s just being new.

Research has shown that students identify really highly with imposter syndrome, which makes sense if you think that actually they’re in the learning environment, they aren’t expected to know everything, but they might feel like they are.

In order to challenge ourselves and push at the boundaries of our own experience and our own skillset, we’re going to have to put ourselves in situations where we feel uncomfortable. And  we might need to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.

If you’re a new doctor, for example, it’s going to be scary, but it’s okay for it to be scary. In fact, if you were not scared, you might be flippant or overconfident. That could be dangerous.

So coaching to help your client recognise that if they are at the beginning, or new to a role, no one is expecting them to know it all and to be really good at it. They’ve got to give it some time.

WHAT SUPPORT IS AVAILABLE?

Experiencing imposter syndrome can feel isolating, we can shut down and not talk to people. As a coach, helping clients to seek support, ask questions, and accept they are on a learning curve can be really useful, and empowering.

The tendency is to hide ourselves away, hide that feeling of inexperience and a lack of competence instead of remembering that everybody’s been new at something. So this is a good topic for coaching.

The whole idea of an apprentice working with a master was that you got some experience and you got the benefit of their wisdom and you worked under them with guidance. No one expected you to know what you were doing, and knew that you were there to learn.

RECAP

Exploring what’s going on in our clients’ heads and how real is that? Because if their expectation is that they’re going to walk into a new role and expect to know everything and call on experience that they don’t have yet, then that’s unrealistic thinking.

Once we’ve done all that exploration around reality and what could be feeding into those feelings and what we need to challenge, there are a number of different ways that we can address Imposter Syndrome in the coaching room.

How Are You Behaving?

What are the behaviours of our coachee, as a result of imposter syndrome?

What are the consequences of those behaviours?

How can those behaviours be shifted?

Some of those behaviours could include procrastinating and perfectionism. If we procrastinate and don’t get started, or if we don’t complete something, then we can’t be judged on it. This is a common issue with Imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism.

If we are perfectionists, we want it to be 100 % perfect, and nothing is ever 100 % perfect. Often people who are perfectionists feel that 99 % perfect is 100 % of a fail.

We need to look at that and look at the consequences as a result of all of those things and then explore how we could perhaps reframe that thinking.

What Happening In Your Body?

Our physiology can change the way we feel and therefore the way we think and the way we behave.

Embodiment work is something that we can use to help with imposter syndrome, and to feel more confident. When we show up differently, we’re treated differently.

Our role is to help our clients find ways to feel powerful, to show up in a more confident way, to show up in a full version of themselves rather than a lesser version.

Imposter syndrome diminishes us. And what we need to do is say,

“no, I’m not going to be diminished. I’m not going to be less than. I’m going to step into and own this space. And if I need to ask questions, I need to ask questions. If I need to explore and find out more, I need to do that.” 

Exploring and experimenting with:

• how we think differently,
• little tweaks on how we behave,
• how to change our emotional state.

All of these can really help. And we can coach someone through scenarios where they could try these things out and then come back to the coaching room and talk about how things were different as a result.

What Probably Won’t Help

Imposter Syndrome is really about how we feel about ourselves. It’s definitely not about going out and getting more qualifications and avoiding the issue, but it’s about how we perceive ourselves and then how we get treated by others.

This mean we can help our client’s use their own self-perception and how they present ourselves to change their thinking around the situation and as a result, about how they feel about themselves.

All of this is rich coaching territory that is worth exploring and can be truly rewarding.

Both our Doctors’ Transformational Coaching Diploma  and our Transformational Coaching Diploma for Lifestyle Medicine cover aspects of coaching that will help to explore these topics with coaching clients. Take a look and get in touch if you have any questions about either.