Values In The Coaching Room

Exploring Values in Coaching

Values are the driving force behind our actions and decisions, shaping how we perceive the world and interact with others. In coaching, understanding values can illuminate underlying issues and facilitate meaningful growth. Here’s a closer look at the importance of values in coaching, how to work with a client around them, and how they can enhance the coaching experience.

What Are Values?

At their core, values are timeless concepts that serve as lenses through which we interpret our experiences. They cannot be quantified as such, or as we like to say, put a wheelbarrow, yet they profoundly influence our behaviour, decision-making, and sense-making. For example, if trust is a fundamental value for someone, every interaction will be viewed through that “trust lens,” affecting how they respond to situations and people and how they perceive others’ actions.

One challenge that sometimes comes up is the ‘wheelbarrow’ test. While many people list values like “family” or “knowledge,” these could, (arguably in the case of family) be placed in a wheelbarrow.  And whilst they are often an initial thought for a client, they usually mask deeper values. Asking “What does family mean to you?” or “What value lies behind your love of books?” can reveal motivations that differ vastly from one person to another. One person might view family as a source of support, while another might see it as protection, another, love. Books could mean wisdom, knowledge, freedom, imagination or something else entirely.

Values in a Coaching Conversation

In a coaching setting, values become crucial when addressing conflicts or challenges. Consider the case of a client, P, who is struggling with a team member, L. By reflecting on P’s values, the coach can help him recognise that the conflict may stem from a misalignment of values rather what might appear to be them being awkward. This realisation can open the door to deeper understanding, exploration, and potential resolution.

Individual Differences in Values

Values are inherently personal and can vary widely among individuals. While we might share common values, the weight assigned to each can differ significantly. This discrepancy can lead to misunderstandings, especially when one person feels that their values are not being honoured by another.

Even if a client has the same ‘value’ as you, don’t assume that it means the same thing to them as it does to you. It’s essential to explore their values without assumptions, ensuring a clear understanding of what those values mean to them to really help them increase their self-awareness.

We will often use value chains – a group of similar values that sit together. Or, in Helen’s case, one word values that have multiple meanings, for example a core value for Helen is connection, but that means a number of types of connection – to people, to herself and her true nature, to something beyond herself of a spiritual nature. The important thing is that Helen understand what that value means to her and how she prioritises and honours it.

The Role of Values in Relationships

Values play a pivotal role in relationships, whether personal or professional. Shared values can foster deeper connections; while differing values may lead to conflict. When coaching individuals in relationships, exploring values can be a transformative exercise that brings to light what truly matters to each party.

Techniques for Eliciting Values

Coaches can employ various techniques to help clients identify their values:

1. Ask Them: After explaining what values are, simply asking ‘what is important to you?’ will usually elicit a list of values straight away. Asking ‘and what else do you value?’ can keep them thinking and maybe uncover some deeper ideas.
2. Values Cards: A physical or digital card set allows clients to choose and rank values that resonate with them. You’ll find Tom’s Values Cards here
3. Reflective Questions: Ask questions that prompt clients to think about significant life moments and the values that were honoured or violated during those times.
4. Grids or Lists: Presenting a grid or list of values for clients to select from can streamline the process of identification.
5. Journaling: Encouraging clients to write about their experiences and feelings can help them discover underlying values.

Living in Alignment with Values

Once values are identified, they can be ranked in order of importance which can help raise a client’s awareness of their own motivations, and why they see certain things as more, or less important.

Something that Helen does is to explore with her clients how these values manifest in their daily lives; values are reflected in where we spend our time, energy, and money, so if we’re not spending any of those things on our values, we may feel out of balance in our lives. This reflection can lead to powerful insights, especially if clients realise that their actions are not in line with their values. We can then coach around how they could start making adjustments to re-prioritise those core values that aren’t being honoured as they would like. This can help to enhance overall well-being and life satisfaction.

Conclusion

Exploring values in coaching offers a pathway to greater self-awareness and fulfilment. By delving into personal values, clients can navigate challenges more effectively, make decisions aligned with their true selves, and foster healthier relationships. Ultimately, understanding and honouring values can lead to transformative experiences in both coaching and everyday life. Embracing this exploration not only empowers individuals but also enriches the coaching process, making it a vital component of personal development.

Both our Doctors’ Transformational Coaching Diploma  and our Transformational Coaching Diploma for Lifestyle Medicine cover aspects of coaching for wellbeing. Take a look and get in touch if you have any questions about either.